uMthunywa
KULIQINISO ukuthi abanye omama beAfrica bayalithanda isiko lamalobolo yiloba inengi labo lilethelwa ukuhlukuluzwa kanye lobuhlungu yilelisiko.
Abanengi baziqhenya ngalo isiko leli njalo ukuziqhenya lokhu kwengezelelwa lapho indoda ikhipha amalobolo aphezulu ngoba bathi lesi yiso sodwa isikhathi empilweni zabo lapho abazizwa beligugu sibili. Banengi omama kweleZimbabwe abafuna ukuthi uma sebetshada abangakomkabo bakhiphe amalobolo. Kuthi ke abanye bakhala ngokuthi amalobolo awabe yinto yakudala angabesakhitshwa.
Abanye bayalithanda baphinde balizonde lelisiko ngoba loba lalisenziwa kusukela kudala, kulezinsuku liletha okunengi okubuhlungu empilweni zabomama ngoba sebethathwa njengempahla yabomkabo.
Isiko leli likabili: okwakuqala lihle uma lisakha ubuhlobo phakathi kwezimuli zabathathanayo libe selisiba libi lapho lithathwa njengendlela yokuthenga umfazi abenjengempahla yalo omthetheyo.
Ekadeni abantu babekhipha amalobolo ngoba befuna ukwakha ubuhlobo phakathi kwezimuli ezimbili kunye lokulobola abantwana abazalethwa kusendo lakondoda.
Okuhluphayo ngamalobolo alamuhla yikuthi abantu sebawathatha njengendlela yokwenza imali. Abakondoda sebewathatha njengendlela yokuthenga umfazi lo ozafika andise usendo lwabo aphinde abasebenzele ngoba phela bayabe bemthenge ngentengo ephezulu. Lamuhla abantu sebekhitshiswa imota, izindlu kanye lokunye okunengi okukhweza isimo somuntu empilweni yakhathesi.
Abangakibo kamalokazana labo sebekubona kuyindlela yokwenza imali lapho uzwa obaba bethi “asimadodakazi engilawo, ngizazikholisa inkomo zabakhwenyana mina”.
Kungasenani, loba amalobolo engasakhitshwa ngendlela eqondileyo njalo esengaletha ubuhwaba emphakathini, isiko leli lilokhu liyinto eqakathekileyo elizweni leZimbabwe lawo amanye nje amazwe aseAfrica.
Omama abanengi balokhu befuna ukukhitshelwa amalobolo uma besiyakwenda. Laba omama abalithandayo njalo abalokhu belifuna isiko leli bathi kumele liqhubeke ngoba lipha umfazi isithunzi azizwe ehlalisekile emendweni. Kodwa ke akumelanga amalobo akhanye njengokuthengiselana, lokhu yikuphambanisa. Kumele ahanjiswe njengakudala lapho ayeyisiboniso sokubonga nje kuphela.
Akumelanga amadoda asebenzise amalobolo ukuze ancindezele abafazi.
Kulezinsuku uthola ukuthi abantu sebethanda ukwenza into zabo ngendlela yesilungu kumbe sebeziphatha silungu nxa umntwana oyinkazana wakulomuzi esefisa ukuthathwa ngoba uthola uyise labangakibo sebebiza amalobolo. Abantu bakhetha ukulahla amasiko abo esintu kodwa elamalobolo abalilahli ngoba lizakuba lakho ukubalethela imali kumbe inotho uma amadodakazi abo esesiyakwenda ngolunye usuku.
Sithola ukuthi lokhu kukabili njalo ngoba isiko leli elamalobolo alisoze lafa lanyamalala nje. Kodwa ke indlela abantu asebeliphatha ngayo yiyo engahloniphekiyo ngitsho lakancane. Isiko leli selitshaphazwa njalo selimele lihlolisiswe kakutsha. Ngalezi insuku asisakwazi ukuthi kutshengiselani ngoba imali ebizwayo isinengi kakhulu. Sokubizwa inkomo ezinengi, abantu bacine besilwa bezibanga.
Endulo kwakungabizwa amalobolo. Umfazi wayesenda, azale abantwana kungabizwa lutho. Umkhwenyana nguye owayeqalisa indaba le yokulobola ehlonipha abakwabozala ngoba sokulabantwana.
Wona vele ayini amalobolo? Inengi labantu lithi yikukhitshwa kwenotho kusukela kumkhwenyana labangakibo isiya ngakibo kamalokazana.
Ekadeni amalobolo abevele ekhitshwa kuzinkomo. Kwakwejwayelwe ukukhitshwa inkomo ezingaba phakathi kweziyisithupha lezilitshumi. Izinto ziqale ukuguquka khathesi lapho abantu sebebiza ezinye izinto ezingasinkomo. Kodwa ke kweminye imihlobo yabantu amalobolo ayekhitshwa engokunye nje okugoqela imikhonto yensimbi, kumbe ezinye izinto nje ezazingelula ukuthi zitholakale endaweni zabo.
Amalobolo la ayengasi okuhlanganisa abantu ababili abathathanayo nje kuphela kodwa ayehlanganisa lezimuli zabo.
Abangakibo kwendoda babekhangelele ukuthi umfazi abamthathayo uzakuba ngumfazi ophile kakuhle, njalo oqinileyo, kanye lokuthi uzelisa na ukuletha abantwana abahle emulini.
Abangakomalokazana babekhangelela ukuthi indoda ethatha umntanabo ivela kusendo lwabantu abahloniphekayo njalo abanothileyo na kanye lokuthi abangako-mkhwenyana bazamphatha kuhle na umntanabo. Kodwa esikuthola lamhlanje yikuthi konke lokhu akusadingakali nxa ababili bethathana osokufuneka yimali kuphela. Nxa indoda ilemali iyenelisa ukuthatha umntanabo kalula.
Abanye omama kabasafuni ukuthi isiko leli lale likhona ngoba bathi indoda ingakhipha amalobolo isizizwa angani ilempahla yayo njalo isingenza yiloba yini ekufunayo emfazini wayo. Bathi obaba abanengi bahlukuluza abafazi babo ngoba besazi ukuthi babakhiphela inotho.
Amanye amadoda athi wona njengoba amalobolo engawabantwana kungani indoda iyiyo ekhipha amalobolo umfazi engakhiphi lutho njengoba nje abanye besithi kulotsholwa abantwana. Abantwana abasi babo bobabili na?
