Ezamasiko – Cultural Articles

Umkami kalandaba lezemacansini
Khulu sibonga singathuli ngoncedo lwakho. Inkosi mayikwambulele ukuhlakanipha kwezulu ngaloluhlupho lwami. Ngileminyaka engu-24 yokuzalwa njalo umkami kalandaba lezemacansini. Ngimthola gqo nje, ngingasola uyazonda. Ngenzeni Khulu ngoba mina ngiyamthanda kodwa sengifile  ngephango?

Impendulo
Lami ngiyabonga mzukulu wami, into yile phela, ukusola akulungisi lutho, kuhle libonisane lomkakho njalo umchasisele ukuba uyamkhanuka kakhulu emacansini. Xoxisanani ngezemacansini enu, likholise laye aze azizwe evukelwa lidlabuzane. Ungaze wathi wena ulephango uvuke ngolaka ngoba phakathi kwenu kungaba lenzalo umtshina omkhulu kawuvuki, uhle ulale. Okunye  mzukulu kuyabe kubangelwa yimikhuhlane, kuhle ukuqathanise, ukuba lokhu kuqale nini njalo ube usukhangela imikhuhlane angabe uyayigula. Kwesinye isikhathi kungaba yiyo ngoba abezempilo bathi imikhuhlane enjengeyetshukela iyehlisa idlabuzane likababa, aphenduke nje abe ngu “go” kanye alale obukabhuka, njalo engazange futhi akholisise omunye wakhe. Okukhulu yikubonisana mzukulu, ulaka alwakhi muzi. Zama futhi ukumdlalidlalisa umkakho aze azizwe laye esefuna phela.

Umakhelwane  ukhombisa intombi yami
Khulu ngithemba uziphilele. Umakhelwane wami ukhombisa intombi engifuna ukuyithatha. Ngimkhuze njani ngoba layo intombi yami sengathi isithathekile ngomakhelwane wami lo. Njalonje uhlala engilandisela ngokuthi umakhelwane lo utheni kuye ngesikhathi ngingekho, kwezinye izikhathi ngibafica behlezi bonke. Umakhelwane lo kathathanga. Mina ngileminyaka engu-25 intombi yami elimanyaka engu-22.

Impendulo
Mzukulu, indaba yokuthatha yisinqumo esikhulu empilweni njalo ifana lokuginya iganu, nxa ubona ukuba umphimbo wakho umncane ungaginyi iganu elikhulu, lawe nxa ubona ukuba impilo ofuna ukuyakha awungeke wayiphila kuhle lothathekile lo, kuhle ukutshiyana labo mzukulu.  Kungenzeka ukuba kusasa ubathole beme kubi, libe selicina libulalana nje ngengozi evikekayo. Nxa yena ekwazi ukuba uthembisane lawe, okweqiniso, uyabe ehlalelani labanye abantu besilisa? Kukhanya umuntu wenu lo nguye ongelaqiniso olitshayanisa amakhanda. Ukuvele ukhulume lizakulwa mzukulu. Zithulele.

Singathandana singabonani?
Ngithemba ukuthi uqinile Khulu. Ngilenkinga lapha, kulentombi engithandana layo iminyaka emihlanu sihlala sonke eBotswana manje seseGoli. Uyala ukuza kimi kodwa uthi silokhu sithandana. Kungenzeka na khonokho Khulu?

Impendulo
Kukhanya akulahlupho lapha, mzukulu, kungani wena ufuna ezekuwe azokuba ngumasihlalisane nje? Kungani lawe ungakhulumi ngokuyavela ngakibo ukuze lihlale okusemthethweni phela. Ngithemba laye ukhangele ikusasa yakhe, lokhu wena ufuna ukuhlala nje laye. Nxa esithi uyakuthanda, kungenzeka ukuba uleqiniso sibili ngakho sekukuwe ke mzukulu, ukuba uyevela, wenze konke okucacileyo ukuze labazali bakhe babekwazi ukuba uhleli lengane yabo. Engabuya kuwe, kuthi kusasa kuvela ingozi, izalikhathaza. Kukhanya uthando lusekhona mzukulu, lungisa izinto zakho njengendoda phela, uhlale laye okusemthethweni.

Udadewethu uyasibandlula
Salibonani Khulu. Ngilohlupho ngodadewethu osibandlululayo ngenxa yokuthi asizalwa laye kubaba kodwa umama munye. Siyiphathe njani lindaba Khulu? Ngeluleka.

Impendulo
Mzukulu esintwini sithi abantu bahlanganiswa libele phela. Bekufanele libengamathe lolimi lodadewenu lo. Kuyadingeka mzukulu ukuba kelidinge izihlobo zenu eziseduze lizilandisele ngaloludaba, lani litsho insolo zenu zonke laye atsho akusolayo ngani. Nxa unyoko esaphila, kuyadingeka ukuba limlandisele ngohlupho lwenu, lizwe yena ukuba uthini, ngoba kuyisifiso somfazi wonke ukuba abantwabakhe bathandane. Lingayithuli lindaba mzukulu, yixoxeni lezinye izihlobo zenu zizalinika indlela njalo bazanelisa ukukhuluma laye udadewenu. Inyathelo elilithetheyo liyabukeka sibili, khulumisanani kuzalunga.

Kafuni kuyahlola igcikwane
Linjani Khulu ngijola lomuntu otshadileyo mina ngiphila leHIV njalo lubaba uyakwazi mhlophe lokho kodwa wathi kalandaba. Inkinga isekutheni sesileminyaka sithandana kafuni kuyathesta. Umkakhe kazi lutho ngesimo sami lanxa esazi ngami njalo wakwamukela. Kodwa angazi kumbe uyazi ngesimo sami lokuthi umkakhe kazivikeli nxa sisonke. Khulu ngidliwa ngunembeza wokuthi nxa kungenzeka babelegcikwane leli bazathini? Yena ungcono ngoba uyazi, umkakhe ke? Khulu uqinisile yini nxa esithi umkakhe uyamthanda? Angithi nje wenzela ukuthi kusasa kusolwe mina.

Impendulo
Mzukulu, ngithemba uyaphila sibili kulusizi ukuba ukhanya udliwa ngunembeza ongako. Okokuqala mzukulu kakukuhlanga ukufohlela emasimini abantu. Akukuphi sithunzi njalo lokuthi uzibize uthi “uyajola”, kubi, kanti ithuba lokwakha owakho umuzi uzalithola nini? Lubaba ojola laye ulomuzi wakhe, wena ke? Ubodinga owakho umuzi mzukulu wami. Ngempela lubaba akalaqiniso. Kutsho ukuba labo bakiwo lumkhuhlane, nanku engesabi lutho nje.
Akulaqiniso ukuba uthanda umkakhe, nanku engamvikeli nje emikhuhlaneni enje. Lawe lokhu kufaka impilo yakho esilaheni mzukulu. Abezempilo balesixwayiso sokuzivikela ukunqabela ukuzalana okuphindiweyo kwengcikwane, kodwa wena awulamzamo oyenzayo nxa uhlangana  lalo ubaba. Njalo futhi kungenzeka ukuba lubaba uphila lomkhuhlane, wenzela ukugcona wena ukuthi nguwe owamthelelayo kusasa nxa sekukubi. Ubuhle nje mzukulu yikuthi uphume emasimini abantu udinge awakho, lapho ozathola khona ukukhululeka hatshi unembeza lo. Lumuntu kayithandi imuli yakhe.

Kulicala yini ukwala ukuya emacansini?
KHULU: Ngicela ukubuza, kulicala yini ukuthi nxa kungatsho ukuthi ngihlangane lomkami emacansini ngimtshele ukuthi kangifuni okwamhlalokho ngoba umkami ngithe ngimtshela lokho wavuka wathi usesiyadinga lapho angasoze ancitshwe khona. Isimanga yikuthi laye kwezinye insuku uyathi kafuni. Khulu mhlawumbe kukhona okungaqondanga emzimbeni wami. Kulicala yini ukwala ukuya emacansini?

Impendulo
Ukwala ukuya emacansini akusicala, mzukulu, into eqakathekileyo yikuba likhulumisane lomkakho, njalo livumelane ngendaba yemacansini. Khulumisanani njalo lihloniphe imizwa yomunye umuntu ngodaba lwemacansini. Kulezinsuku umhlaba uyahlaba bazukulu, kulemikhuhlane eminengi eyemacansini, nxa esithi usesiyaphandle engafika ahlatshwe ngameva uzathini? Kuhle mzukulu ukuhlonipha imizwa yomunye, kodwa lawe phela ungabilivila emacansini, uhlalise umntanabantu ngendlala phela.

Senzeni ngomtwana onje?
KHULU: Ngicela lingibonise ukuthi umntwana onje kumele wenzeni ngaye ngoba sengehlulekile Khulu, umntwana lo weza wazohlala lathi ngemva kokuba etshonelwe ngabazali logogo lokhulu wasala engelabani nje. Saqala ukuhlala laye eleminyaka engu-10 manje ule21. Inkinga ekhona yikuthi akakhulumisi muntu endlini uhlala ezondile nje sesizame zonke indlela zokumbuzisisa ukuthi inkinga yini kodwa kazwisisi. Kafuni kwenza lutho nje uhlala ezivalele endlini so njengemuli sesiswele ukuthi simsize njani, senzeni ngoba kakhulumi. Sesazama lokuthi nxa efuna ukuyadinga umsebenzi kahambe kodwa uyala lokusebenza angisazi manje ukuthi senzenjani.

Impendulo
Kawusatshongo ukuthi uzalana njani lalo umntwana phela, ukuze kubelula ukuphawula udaba lolu. Wena sowenza okuhle kakhulu ngokukhulisa intandane kaMlimu. Kuqakathekile ke ukuba lidinge abakibo lezihlobo eziseduzane ubazise ngohlupho lwakhe. Akaseyiyo ngane lumuntu ngoba useleminyaka engu-21, okutsho ukuthi usekhulile njalo usengabalakho ukuhlaziya phakathi kokulungileyo lokubi. Nxa kungelazihlobo zakhe eduze, kungabakuhle lihambe laye kulaba okuthiwa ngama-counsellors bake bayexoxa laye hlezi engaba lakho ukuhluba indlubu yakhe ekhasini asizakale. Nxa esathule lingamkhahlamezi ukuthi akhulume, sizafika phose isikhathi  avule konke okwakumudla.

Umkami ufuna ukuya kumphurofethi
KHULU: Ngiyindoda eleminyaka yokuzalwa engu-30 njalo ngithethe kodwa angilamntwana. Sengidubekile ukuthi sibe lomntwana sengike ngavakatshela labodokotela kodwa okomntwana sokwehlule. Khathesi umkami ufuna ukuya komunye umphurofethi engizwa kuthiwa uyalala labafi. Khulu nginceda umkami angaya kumphurofethi lo abesezithwala umntwana lo uyabe engasiwami ngenxa yokuthi ngizwa izinto ezinengi ngomphurofethi lo. Ngenzeni Khulu?

Impendulo
Kuyadingeka mzukulu ukuthi lihlale phansi lomkakho likhulumisane. Umbonise imizwa lemibono yakho ngalo umphorofethi njalo uzwe laye ukuba uthini. Okunye kuyadingeka mzukulu ukuba uke umuphe ithuba laye elokuzama kulo umuntu. Ngithemba lawe ungamphelekezela, lihambe lonke kulo umphorofethi. Nxa umekela ehamba yedwa kuyabe kukhombisa ukulahla kwakho amajogwe okudinga inzalo. Mphelekezele mzukulu umakothi, ubone konke okwenziwa ngulo ubaba, lawe  usuthiseke. Nxa umphurofethi ekewaba lezigwenxa kwabanye omama akutsho ukuba lakowakho kuzafana. Mtshengise ukumethemba mzukulu. Lokhu kuzamupha amandla okuzivikela kuzigangi ezifana lalumphurofethi.

Imali ifikela kumamazala
KHULU: Ngileminyaka engu-28 yokuzalwa njalo ngilenyanga ezintathu ngendile. Umkami usebenzela phandle kwelizwe. Uhlupho engilalo yikuthi singomalukazana abathathu njalo sihlala ndawonye endlini yabazali babomkethu. Umkami nguye ongahlali endlini abanye basebenza bephenduka ngekhaya. Umamazala lobabazala bahlala lathi endlini le. Okungikhathazayo yikuthi umamazala nguye othatha imali ethunyezwa ngumkami ebhanga. Lokhu yikho engafica kusenziwa. Umamazala nguye osihlelela imali lami ngiyamtshela ukuthi ngifuna malini. I-grocery nguye ongenzelayo. Kambe Khulu angithi sengikhona mina umalukazana, sengifuna ukuthenga ezami impahla ngihlela impilo. Umkami wangalisa ukuthi ngisebenze esithi imali uyathumeza nyangazonke. Pho nxa imali iqhubeka ifikela ezandleni zikamamazala sengathi kangikho ngenzeni? Ukuthi ngikhulume kunzima ngoba ngisesemutsha kangisoze ngivuse impi yini?

Impendulo
Mzukulu, uyabe ungavusi impi lapha ekhaya kodwa uyabe ukhama ithumba elikufuthelayo emoyeni wakho. Njalo mzukulu isicathulo sitshisa osigqokileyo, lelojogwe lisinda olithweleyo. Kuqakathekile ukuba ukhulume lomkakho umbonise ngesifo sakho sokufuna ukwakha umuzi wenu, ngokuthenga impahla ezinengi langokuqakatheka kokuba abe ethumezela imali kuwe, hatshi kunyokozala. Usukhona wena, kuhle ukuba khona kwakho kuboniseke, njalo kube nguwe osuphakulela abakwenuzala. Nxa lizakwehlulana lomkakho, kuhle ukubikela ubabakazi wakho, ayixoxe labomalumakhe bejaha, babonise umkakho ukuba umuzi opheleleyo umakanjani njalo izinto zihleleka kanjani. Ukuba mutsha kwakho mzukulu akugezi lungelo lakho. Nxa usuthe wayakwenda lawe uyabe ufuna ukuba ilungelo lakho ulithole lonke. Xoxisanani ngalokhu lesithandwa sakho ukuze lawe ungahlali ulefindo njalo ukhamekile.

Ngifuna ukwenda kodwa . . .
Khulu: Ngicela ukubuza ukuthi umuntu uyabe eselungele ukwenda eseleminyaka emingaki. Mina ngileminyaka  yokuzalwa engu-18, ijaha lami lona lileminyaka yokuzalwa engu-25 usefuna ukungithatha. Kambe Khulu kangimfitshane yini?

Impendulo
Mzukulu, nxa silandela isisekelo sombuso sitsho ukuthi umuntu oleminyaka elingana leyakho uselelungelo lokuzimela, lelokwenza nje iloba yini okwenziwa ngumuntu omdala. Ukukhula lokungakhuli sekusiya ngamasiko akwenu. Hlala phansi labobabakazi bakho ubalandisele ngombono wakho. Nxa kulandelwa isisekelo sombuso ngobudala, kawumfitshane mzukulu. Futhi okunye okuphathisayo yikukhula kwengqondo zakho. Omunye umuntu uyabamfitshane kodwa engqondweni ekhulile sibili. Emva kokuxoxa kabanzi labobabakazi uzaba lakho ukuphuma lempendulo enhle, ube usuthatha inyathelo elihle. Indaba yomendo iyaboniswana mzukulu, bonisana labosendo lwakho.