Inhlupho zalamuhla: Umkami usethethwe ludumo lomhlaba

23 Nov, 2017 - 02:11 0 Views
Inhlupho zalamuhla: Umkami usethethwe ludumo lomhlaba

uMthunywa

Ngithole ukuthi umkami lami silezibongo ezifanayo
NGIYINDODA eleminyaka engu-30, ngikhuliswe ngugogo ozala umama. Umama wangitshiya ngimncane wayakwenda kwenye indawo. Selokhu watshadayo kangikaze ngihlangane laye lemuli yakhe. Mina ngisebenzisa isibongo sikagogo. Uhlupho yikuthi sengithole ukuthi isibongo sikababa ongizalayo siyafana lesikankosikazi wami. Ngenzenjani?

Impendulo:
Akukho okunye ongakwenza, kumele lihlale phansi njengemuli likhulume ngendaba le. Kumele abantu abadala balwazi loludaba lwesibongo futhi batsho umbono wabo. Ezimulini ezinengi udaba olufana lalolu kaluphambanisi lutho emtshadweni. Kukanti abanye benza amasiko afaneleyo ukulungisa indaba yesibongo.

Umkami usethethwe ludumo lomhlaba
Sileminyaka engu-26 sitshadile lomkami. Satshada sisebancane kakhulu. Uqale ukutshintsha eminyakeni emibili edluleyo. Waqala wathenga imota entsha andubana aqale ukungitshintshela langendlela ayesegqoka ngayo.

Ngisanda kwazi ukuthi sekulomuntu  asethandana laye. Nxa ngizama ukukhuluma laye ngaloludaba ungitshela ukuthi usefuna siqume umtshado ngoba uthi akazimiselanga ukucela emuntwini impilo yakhe yonke. Uyasenzela konke esikufunayo labantwabethu ababili asebekhulile kodwa umtshado yiwo nje angasawufuniyo. Uthi ufuna ukuphila impilo yakhe ngendlela ayithandayo.

Impendulo
Ngifisa sengathi ngingakhuluma lawe ngikweluleke mzukulu. Umkakho kukhanya uphakathi kwenkinga yaphakathi kokukhala (midlife crisis). Linkinga ihlangana labantu abanengi abaphakathi kweminyaka engu-45 kusiya ku-60.

Okwenzakalayo yikuthi indoda iyabe ilamaphupho ayo empilweni kuthi ke nxa isibona sengathi izifiso zayo kazikafezeki empilweni ibisifisa lokufa. Lokhu kudala izimpawu ezifana lalezi oziqambileyo, okuhlanganisa indoda ezenza umuntu omutsha kakanti yona indala. Kuyedlula lokhu.

Engingakutshela khona yikuthi nxa esesekhona ngekhaya ungamcasuli. Khuluma laye sakumkhumbuza ukuthi lokhu akwenzayo kuzadala ukwehlukana phakathi kwenu. Zinakekele lawe, ungaziyekeleli. Hamba uyozivocavoca kodwa ube ukwenzela wena, hayi yena. Zithengele impahla ezintsha ezikufanelayo. Sondela kakhulu ebanganini bakho abatshadileyo ukuze uthole izeluleko ezifaneleyo.

Ungakhulumi inkinga zomtshado wenu labantwabenu noma sebekhule kangakanani. Noma kunzima, zama ungamncitshi inkonzo yasekamelweni kodwa qiniseka ukuthi uyazivikela ngaso sonke isikhathi. Okokucina, khulekela umkakho lomtshado wenu ngazozonke izikhathi.

Ngimbuze nini ngekusasa
Nxa usulomuntu othandana laye, yisiphi isikhathi esiqondileyo sokubuza ngekusasa? Ngilenyanga eziyisithupha ngehlukana lejaha lami ebengithandana lalo. Ngiyesaba ukuchitha isikhathi sami lomuntu ozidlalelayo nje, kanti leminyaka isihambile. Ngilenyanga ngithandana lejaha engilalo, ngingambuza ngekusasa noma ngime? Yisiphi isikhathi sokukhuluma ngekusasa?

Impendulo:
Abantu besilisa balenkinga yokuzibophela. Inengi labo liyethuka nxa umuntu wesifazane ekhomba ukutshiseka okukhulu aze abone sengathi lowesifazane usephelelwe lithemba. Kuhle ukukhuluma ngekusasa, ikakhulukazi uma ubona sengathi ubudlelwano benu buyakhula. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi ukhuluma nini. Kunzima ukubeka isikhathi okumele ukhulume ngaso kodwa lawe uzabona nxa uthando lwenu seluqala ukukhula. Kuzakwenzakala kodwa.

Kwesinye isikhathi kawusoze udinge ukumbuza kodwa uzazibonela. Isikhathi sokuthandana ngaphambi komtshado yiso isikhathi sokuhlolana kahle ukuze lithathe izinqumo ezimqoka ngempilo yenu kwezothando.

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